you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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