why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize