can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
