Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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