My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
