but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
