i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I forgot how hot balto sounded
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
