I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
