i just google imaged poop.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
