my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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