Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
