return my video game
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
