He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
