Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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