wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
