Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
