Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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