I want to have your abortion
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
