I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
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