i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
