You really coming over, don't trick.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
