Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
