Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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