you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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