dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Drunk is not a location!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
