so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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