we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
