What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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