in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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