You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
