I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
how does that bad decision feel?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
