i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
