tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
