p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
