so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
