She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so let's talk penis.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
