remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
