its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
