Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Drunk is not a location!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
