spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
that is very illegal...i love you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
