Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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