You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I can't put those talents on a resume
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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