I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
