my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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