Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
