Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
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Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?