Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
