Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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