you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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