Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
