We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
