"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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