Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
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