3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
