We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize
