took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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