belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
