Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
