Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
