Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
