I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
i out mim tonsoeep
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