In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
