So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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