just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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