she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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